Together, we can all win, there’s enough room for everybody.
Recently, I was having a conversation with one of my best girlfriends. We were discussing the concept of girls supporting other girls. Girl let’s support that girl. Or better yet, we discussed females supporting other females, and the beauty of it.
“When she wins, We All Win”
However, our perspectives were quite different on what helping everyone win, would actually look like. Below I’ll detail the differing perspectives on the topic a hand.
Girl One’s Perspective
This point of view focused on the importance of getting yourself to the top of your mountain and then from there, beginning to help others who have been loyal, dependable, and supportive throughout your journey reach the top of their mountains too. Helping those friends elevate from where they are, only after you have already landed where you need to be. Your focus would be on your first, and your friends second. Your hope is that if you can show others that you can elevate yourself, your success would encourage them to begin pursuing their own success.
Girl Two’s Perspective
On the other side of the discussion, another point of view was brought up. This point of view focused on teaching a friend how to fish, instead of giving that friend your fish. If you teach a person how to fish, they won’t need to ask for your fish, they’ll be able to fend for themselves. From this point of view, while you are coming into your own success, you would also encourage, and help motivate or mentor your friends to begin pursuing and reaching their own successes. Everyone would win together, as there is always enough to go around.
The first point of view stemmed from loving yourself first and then loving others, the second point of view stemmed from loving your friends, the way you love yourself.
I was astonished at how mature, and thoughtful the second point of view is. The reality was, it wasn’t until I heard this perspective that I began to see the selfishness of my own. It’s already hard enough trying to create your own lane, but it’s probably even harder when you lack a support system or don’t have reliable people cheering you on as you encounter and overcome the obstacles that are guaranteed to arise in your rise to glory.
Gotta Step Up My Friendship Skills
Since this conversation I’ve been trying my best to support, uplift and encourage my friends in whatever facet of healthy life decisions they strive to complete or overcome – “You Got this Boo Just Keep Going!” because I want this same energy from my girls. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think any of my friends would say I’m a bad friend. They would simply acknowledge that I can be selfish at times. I can generally be tit for tat when it comes to friendships; an attitude I’m working on.
Two similar outcomes in mind. Yet two totally different methods being used to deliver the desired end results. Neither way is wrong necessarily, but one way looks at the bigger picture, while the other focuses on a singular rise to glory.
With that said, be unafraid to be a better friend. Be unafraid to authentically support your team as they make waves and rise to their purpose. Be so confident in all that you can and will do that other people’s successes aren’t a threat to you. Nor are those successes a threat to your genuine happiness for them.
Remember: Your friends shine, is not equivalent to your defeat.
Competition amongst friends is a healthy inspiration. No need to envy when everyone is winning together and we’re all supporting one another.